Saturday, September 26, 2020

A reflection on anxiety

 


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. - Philippians 4:6-7

I have to be honest, after my surgery and diagnosis, I have had days of anxiety attacks. Especially, when I'm having pain. But I have overcome.

Anxiety is a worst sickness than Covid-19. Perhaps we may not get coronavirus but it seems many of us have caught the "worry" virus. Paul reminds us not to worry about everything. It is an impossible command for us to obey.

The pandemic, failing economy, job security, and financial stability. These cause people to be afraid and anxious about the future. The reason Paul can say to the Philippians not to worry because He knows that God is present and cares for them.  "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

God wants us to bring all our concerns to Him. God's desire is to give to Him in prayer what is bothering us, whatever concerns we have, whatever we want to happen.

Regardless of worries over the economy, our jobs, and our health, we can be free from anxiety. Why? Because we can bring all issues to God in prayer, and he will tend them.

Lord, I want to trade my anxiety for your peace. Amen.


A reflection on words

 


With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. - James 3:9-10


Our words have the power to bless or to curse. Words have power both to negate or confirm. A good word can edify. It can encourage someone to keep going. It can even give life direction to those who lost their way. Not only our words can bless others, but they can also motivate others to glorify God. Our words declare His great works. They testify to His limitless mercy and praise His wonderful ways. The truth is these are the main use of our tongue. To bless others, bless God and in doing so, we bless ourselves too. The question we need to ask ourselves is this: do we use the power of our tongue to bless? Are our words too negative that cause discouragement to others? Do our words build up or destroy? Do our words make people closer to God or otherwise? Lord, I know my tongue often gets ahead of my mind and heart. I am quick to speak and I repent of the many thoughtless things I have spoken. I am sorry for words I have spoken in anger or in gossip. Please help me to see when I am about to speak without thinking and to check my heart. Help me be slow to speak. Help me Lord to be a person full of loving words, full of your Spirit, overflowing with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. Amen.* *Prayer online by Debbie Przybylski

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

He took up our pain




It took us a whole day waiting for a vacant room in Lung Center Hospital. Then as we were settling down in our ward, a nurse came in. She asked me for my name, reading from her note, she told me that I was there to have “metastasectomy." She tried to pronounce it twice but failed. We all laughed, and I told her, “yes, I will have thoracic surgery to remove a metastasis in my right lung”.

My surgeon delayed the procedure for a couple of days. He told us that his fellows would not be available. We had to wait for them so we did not have to pay for people who would assist him in the surgery. We were thankful for the delay because we spent a couple of days receiving visitors. We were happy to reunite with family, relatives, and friends. 

I also need to undergo several clearances. My cardiologist had to make sure my heart would not fail during the surgery. The pulmonologist conducted a series of difficult breathing tests. To make sure that my lungs would be strong enough to lose a chunk.

It was six o'clock in the morning when a hospital aide came and transferred me to the operating room. Our roommates, after sharing our two days with them, wished me "luck" that was the last time I saw them because they would check out later. 

I had been under the knife before and I knew the routine. The anesthesiologist assured me that everything will be alright. She checked the drip needle that the nurse stuck on my right hand where she would inject the anesthesia. She told me that it was too small, and she had to stick a bigger one on my other hand. But I did not have to worry because she would do it when I was sleep already. I told her it was okay because at this point, I lost count on how many needles were stuck on my body.

Then she put a mask on my face, and I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already afternoon. I could not breathe; breathing was so excruciating painful. I may have been crying out loud, and I guess I was. I looked out the viewing room, I saw my wife Narlin, my son Reuven, my sister Dadai and some friends. I may had looked so bad because they seemed to be on the verged of crying. I tried to smile to assure them I was alright, but it looked more like grimace. I tried to put up a thumbs up sign, but I guess nobody noticed.

When I got back to my room, the surgeon told me that he would release me the next day because of the hospital hazard. Most of the patients there have contagious lung diseases and it would be better for me to recover at home.

Unless... they removed the machines that pumped air on my lungs and drained the fluid. It caused me so much discomfort because I needed to go to the rest room and I didn't want to do it lying down. They brought an x-ray machine on the room to see if my lungs were inflated already. The doctors thought it was okay to remove and I felt relived that I could finally go to the rest room. And go home.

Then something happened that would extend my misery for the days to come. The doctor removed the six-inch tube from my lungs with no local anesthesia (ouch!). He was trying to be funny doing that so I won't notice him doing it.

As we were preparing to go home, the nurse removed the drip needle. Remember, the anesthesiologist stuck a bigger needle on my left hand. So she first removed the needle on my left hand and then proceeded to remove the one on my right hand. My wife, my sister, the nurse and me were having a nice chat that we didn't notice that I was soaking with blood. She forgot to tape the needle hole on my hand and the blood was flowing like a mini faucet from the hole in my hand. It was terrifying.

Then while I was changing my shirt, I coughed, fluids came flowing out of my surgical wound. A doctor came and patched it up. But the fluids kept on gushing out from the wound. The surgeon requested for ultrasound to know how much fluid remained in my lungs. After giving it a lot of thought, he decided to insert a JP drain into the surgical wound using a skin anesthesia. He did this in the emergency room. The procedure was so painful that I almost lost consciousness.

We would be traveling for more than four hours back to Malasiqui. The doctor knew that when the effect of the skin anesthesia would wear off in three or four hours. He taught me how to administer the anesthesia by injecting it through the JP drain. Before we left, we asked the nurse to do it for me, but she would not. She thought it was unusual to inject skin anesthesia inside the wound. So I had to do it for every three or four hours for a day for the next twenty-four hours.

It was a painful experience. I could not imagine the ordeals that our Lord Jesus had to go through. Besides all the pain and suffering He had went through, at the last minute of His earthly life, a soldier had to pierced His side. I can understand, how fluid (water and blood) flowed from His lung. My pains were nothing compare to what Jesus had experienced. He went through the pains and sufferings so that we can enjoy a lasting relationship with God our Father. 

Our Lord Jesus understands our pains, hardships, difficulties and sufferings. He experienced all those for us.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all. 

Isaiah 53:4-6 (NIV)



Saturday, September 12, 2020

A reflection on being a servant


Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
- John 12:26

The church exists on earth mainly for three reasons. First,  to glorify God through our service. Second,  to edify the saints by serving one another, and last to make disciples of all nations by serving the non-believers.

In other words, the church exists for service. The church is here to provide us opportunities to serve. We are here to serve God and the community. God has called us to serve. He saved us to be a servant.  In John 12:26, we will learn three truths about being servants of Jesus.

Servants follow Jesus
Following Christ means being led by the Holy Spirit, make decisions and choices according to His guidance, do what He would have wanted us to do. Being a disciple and servant means we die to ourselves; we surrender our right to make decisions for ourselves. Jesus is our Lord. He determines where we live, how we live, what we do.

Servants are found where Jesus is
The idea is for us is we need to find out where Jesus is working and follow Him there. We can follow Jesus intimately and we will know.  This truth helps us see that our worship (even our worship service) should be a time that we encounter Jesus.  For some people going to church is like a duty or an obligation. But for us, it is about celebrating what God has done in our lives. We anticipate what God will do and where He is working.

God honors the servants of Jesus
When we serve the Lord with gladness with passion and enthusiasm, God will honor us. There is no earthly honor that can exceed that. Is it possible for God to honor us? According to the word of God, it is possible, yes, we can and it’s a choice. When we present Him our lives, our talents for his use, when we say take my life and lead me, Lord, He will.

Friday, September 11, 2020

A reflection on knowing God


 Some people brought to him a paralyzed man on a mat. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “Be encouraged, my child! Your sins are forgiven.”- Matthew 9:22

Although we mostly come to Jesus when we have needs. We want Him to help us with our situations, heal our sickness, provide for our finances, direct us in making important decisions. In spite of this, He never rebukes us, but His words are gentle. When we pray, He takes the opportunity to teach us about Himself and learn about Him.

Most of all, God’s desire for us is spiritual wholeness—healing from the crippling disease of sin. Faith in Jesus is the key to receiving healing from God, and the Son of Man has power over everything that troubles us.

We come to Jesus who does miracles, and we leave knowing Him more.

Photo by Hans Moerman on Unsplash